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The Epic Mini-series :: Sanders:  Live on (web) Camera
2003 kEiThErBOO.  This, and all other Sanders stories, are true stories.  To protect the innocent, the names have been changed.  Not much, we just misspelled them.  But that's good enough.

Episode 1
A New Hopelessness

It was a dark, cold night.  In Antarctica, anyway.  Meanwhile, back in Oklahoma, we find our hero doing what he does best, sitting around and listening to music through his surgically implanted headphones.  But not all things were as normal as they seemed at the moment.

It all started when one of biggest if not the biggest of all of Sanders' fans, Aymee, was abducted by a band of aliens.  The trombone player, the obvious leader and one of highest intelligence, deceived Aymee into thinking that Sanders was in trouble by showing her this picture:

'He's either fainted or he's sleeping.  And since he does neither of these on his own will, something must be wrong!' thought Aymee.

Aymee, caring for her beloved superhero, went into the "big black thing that looks like a UFO" that was nearby because that's where she was told Sanders was located.  Upon entering, the guards came up behind her and locked in a prison and told her she was not allowed out until she said "Ollyollyoxenfree" sixteen times.  She refused, and they told her they wouldn't have let her out anyway.  But the aliens said that when she was ready, she could tell them the whereabouts of Sanders so they could go and, y'know, kill him.  Aymee decided that this was not a good idea and sat in her jail cell wondering what in the world she could possibly do.

So, Sanders is enjoying himself ::

'I love this song' thinks Sanders

:: at his home when he decides to ignore everything.  There is proof of this outright ignorance.  Aymee had sent out three different flying objects with messages on them to Sanders for her to come save her.  But Sanders managed to either close his eyes or look away every time one of these came by.  Aymee was sad and filled with hopelessness.

After a time, Sanders became tired.  He was ready to fall asleep at any moment.  

Sadly, the aliens were able to track the flying objects and went right into Sanders' house just as he fell asleep on the table.  It was time to strike.


Things looked deathly grim for out hero, but suddenly ::


:: weird stuff happened.  Nobody knows what.  But after it was over...

everyone was gone.  Then, out of nowhere, Sanders was back!

...but his headphones were missing! *dun dun dun*  He decided to call some people and find out if they knew what happened to his head phones and what to do.  He tried to call Aymee first, but as she was not at home, she did not answer the phone.  This worried our hero.  Sanders knew that Aymee always picked up the phone, no matter what.  Something was wrong.


There was only one choice.  Sanders went to his closet, did a quick change of clothes, and was ready for action.

Nobody quite knows why Sanders is albino white when wearing his uniform.